Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Feeling His Son

I was so excited shortly after we returned to MN that finally, after weeks of feeling him move, Jim was able to share in the same experience with me. People have given us tips, from flashlights placed on my tummy to a cold drink making the baby wake up-- no thank you, but the real problem was that although the movements were quite apparent to me, they are normally strongest in the morning when Jim is at work.

Finally, we were laying in bed and baby started to dance and didn't stop when I moved Jim's hand over. "Did you feel that?" I asked as usual.

"Well, I felt that," he said as another kick poked at my tummy, "was that one?" When I told him yes, yet another kick was felt by us both and made Jim jump a little. Now it really sunk in that he was feeling his son, his baby for the first time. "Wow-- that is him! I can feel my son!"

Jim has asked me to describe what it feels like to me to be able to feel him in me, not just kicking, but simply moving around and getting cozy. I've also been asked by several other people and I think I have said that it is like if you swallowed a fish or a frog and it is now growing and living in you and nudging your insides, but I don't feel like that is actually right. I feel like at times I can feel him being happy or interested (especially when I eat or music is playing) or when he is annoyed (when the seatbelt is cutting in or I am putting on my shoes or Jim is hugging me and it squishes my belly.) It is still hard to believe that I am carrying around a whole person in me, and an increasingly BIG person.

I feel like I am trying to get to know someone simply by the way that they text message or IM on the computer. So much is lost from not using complete sentences, seeing facial expressions or if they are punching the keys with anger or excitement. Smileys can never make up for real emotions shared in person. And I cannot wait to get to have an in person conversation with my little man, even if only one of us will have the ability to talk for a while.

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